Cherished reader, listener, supporter, visitor, and friend my thought process, a couple cups in, as I see and taste the smoke from Canadian fires here in Ohio this morning and try to remember that hell doesn't need narration just water and a way out, I think to myself,
“I need something fun. I wanna cry.”
I know. I was shocked by the clarity, too! It was the contrast for you? That, too, but how long have you been here? Not to be unkind but I mean, don't most decent people feel exactly that way most of the time in this specific time and world?
Some of the only good news I have for you about doing our work is at least being able to more quickly see that the inverse is probably true:
“I need to cry and want to do something fun.”
I’ve wanted to share the audio piece, “Anxious By Historical Demand” but when I had the nerve, time got away and I, conveniently, let other projects take precedence. That I consider sharing a slice of my interior life in an increasingly loud world and call it “lighter” or “fun” or “enjoyable” is suspect; consider my body language as I reviewed it before sharing it here with you, my face and private parts, both scrunched up, a rather odd experience of a “good” time except Something else happened, too, as I listened to the part that says “E.P.R.”, I breathed and I really needed to and I thought of you and how you need that, too, so share I do. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for listening 🙏
A couple program notes:
I cannot escape wordplay, especially when that wordplay can be its own essay, but I digress. The title of the dance company's program was, “Black By Popular Demand”, hence, my title: “Anxious By Historical Demand”.
And, and it's vital to note that I make an egregious error that I apologize for here, (worst apology eva!), while not changing the audio. I simply didn't trust that I would get the other elements as good in (yet) another recording attempt, so I, in error, refer to Fabio's “girlfriend”, in the audio when it's clear it's his wife, I shouldn't be flirting with. Smh You can see how that would happen. Smh.
But still, I hear caring here, even in the morning, when I want to defensively narrate hell and I hope you do, too.
Enjoy the story.
As we share in the wonder of growing in love, Preetam Das
Background music by “Holy Ma” Shantala, who retain all rights and our gratitude.
